Follow Me Through the Next Portals . . . if you dare

Posted on Posted in Adventures, Bodywork, Inner world work, Love, My journey, Nature, Nature Therapy, Retreats, Rewrite your stories, Self Care, Sex, Spirituality Coaching, Travel, Uncategorized, Wellness, Work

Hello dear people in my world,

I feel compelled to share about a few portals I’m stepping through and opportunities that may follow for you.

In this letter you will find:

  • Two Upcoming Portals/Initiations I’m entering into SOON.
  • Continued Containers I am being supported in (meaning you are also being supported by these containers if you are being supported by me).
  • Opportunities I’m in the process of creating for all of you.
  • Who I am and what I offer (it’s always evolving, you know. Don’t ever think you know me. I don’t even know myself fully. 😉 hehe. It’s a Universe in this body! So much to explore. So much treasure to bring forward.)


  • COSTA RICA VITA Sex, Love, Relationship Coaching Retreat with Layla Martin at Blue Spirit Retreat Center

I am out of my mind excited to be joining the vibrant humans I’ve been in the VITA Coaching certification with IN PERSON with LAYLA! On the stunning shores of Costa Rica, we will be dropping into the deep and rising to high ecstatic spaces within our BodyMindSpirit through our sensuality, sexuality, space holding, shadow work, breathwork and pleasure practices we’ve been doing on our own and with practicum partners over the last year and a half.

I leave this Friday, July 22nd and will return July 31st.

I expect to encounter my Self, the Dark and the Light, my Wholeness.

I expect to walk, dance, shiver, shake, laugh, and wail my way to the edges of my comfort zone and spill myself right over the edge again and again and again.

I expect to die and be reborn as many times as can occur in seven days.

I expect to drop into dark and rise with the light of dawn.

Ultimately, I expect to expand my ability to hold space for anyone and anything that comes into my sacred healing container who is ready to Live in Wholeness and Intimacy with Self, Spirit, Body, Breath, Earth and Others.

I expect to return connected to the Queen, the High Priestess, the Goddess I AM.

  • SKY CAVE DARK RETREAT in Ashland, OR. November 29th– Dec 5th, 2022.

I am as thrilled to be spending three full days (72 hours) in total darkness as I am to be going to Costa Rica! If Costa Rica is the opportunity to experience ecstasy within my Self, Sky Cave Dark Retreat is the opportunity to dive into the Void of my Soul and find the still point. The I AM. The Dark that gives birth to Life. The NoThing Space.  Simply Being.


On their website this is a tagline:



Simply Exist. Deepen into true nature. Resting in all that is. Inviting you to drink deep. Rest in the fullness of silence, darkness, and light.”

I will have a day of driving, a day of preparation and a bodywork session, three days in the dark, a day of reintegration and bodywork, a day of driving home.

I chose this as the closing death and rebirth ceremony/initiation to honor the end of the seven year cycle since my separation/divorce. It is finished. I am new.

I am anticipating deep rest in the present moment in a profound way through this experience.

I expect this will add nuanced ability to sit in dark places with you, without the need to change what is, but to simply be with you there because I can be with mySelf there. That is the place of Love and Alchemy.


  • Continuing my work with Ernest Morrow as an apprentice to the Left Hand Path, Living in Wholeness and Intimacy, Engaging Truth, Love, and Beauty in real life. I finished my 9-month initiation and have deep desire to lead others through this initiatory process. This feels to be touching into the core of my Life Work. I’ll be sharing more about this as time goes on.
  • Continuing with level IV of my Writing Down the Soul apprenticeship. After the retreat, I am clear that whether I ever hold the book in my hand or not, the process is eternally transforming my stories.
  • Finishing the VITA majors of Female Sexuality and Women’s Empowerment by the end of the year.
  • Continuing Family Therapy with Thomas Castro. Because I might die as a single mom without this support!


  1. Free Blog Content: I’m planning a consistent blog practice to share thoughts, tools, and information that I am passionate about. It will touch on themes connected to Living your Wholeness and Greater Intimacy with Self, Spirit, Body, Breath, Earth and Others. I’ll be interested in hearing what you are interested in reading.
  2. Monthly Meditation Subscription: I’m playing with the idea of a monthly or bi-monthly release of 10-to-15-minute meditations and/or shared wisdom on topics of interest. This is in the beginning stages of development.
  3. Master Classes: Starting in October, I will run a four-week master class around the topic of Deepening your connection to your Body, Breath, Earth and Others. I will do these once a quarter. These will be in workshop format with breathwork, movement, sounding, grounding, etc. I also hope to do short one on one coaching if the moments flow into that.
  4. High End Coaching Package: Beginning in September, I will take on three one-on-one coaching clients for three months. This will differ from my current BodyMindSpirit session in that we will be in an intentional transformative coaching container once a week for three months. This can be in person or on Zoom. There will be support available in between sessions, home practices that will enhance the work we do in session, specific desires you will be working toward, and deep dive into the blocks that keep you from those desires. You can work with a desire in one of these areas: sexuality, love, spirituality, relationships, empowerment, healing, business, etc. Or you can come simply knowing you are led to work with me and we will dive in together from there. If you are interested, contact me and we’ll connect around what is true for you in this offering.
  5. Nine Month Initiation into the Left Hand Path, Living from Wholeness into Intimacy with Self, Spirit, Earth and Others: More on this later as I am closer to offering this in real time.
  6. Balanced Living BodyMindSpirit Sessions are currently the only way to schedule time to work with me. They continue to be 90-minute sessions working with whatever modality best serves your BodyMindSpirit health and journey to Wholeness. CranioSacral Therapy, Esalen Massage Therapy, Dream Tending and imaginal realm work, Somatic and breathwork, spiritual coaching, inner child and true self work, etc.

  (IMPORTANT PRICING NOTE FOR LONG TERM CLIENTS WHO WERE WITH ME BEFORE JULY 2021::: Currently Former Clients prior to price changes in July of 2021 have been paying a slightly reduced rate. Beginning January 2023, all clients will be charged $225 per session. Sessions will continue to be 90 minutes long. Student Sessions will be 75 minutes for $120. There will be no exceptions to this due to the expansion of my training, the increase in demand of sessions and my need to continue making space for the creative movement forward with the other offerings and dreams I’ve not even revealed yet. <3)

I AM NOT FOR EVERYONE. My prices and availability reflect that. I do not exist for you. I exist to be the unique soulful expression of the Divine that I AM in this body, in this time, with these limitations, and these gifts. I must be devoted to my soul work. No one else can birth what is within me. You may benefit from my soul work – I will be thrilled if you do. My soul work may meet a deep need in the world – I sincerely hope that it does. But it is not my goal. My goal is to be ME with the most honest, authentic expression I can in each moment. And I invite you to do the same: to exist for your soul’s most honest expression in this world. We desperately need soulful humans living in alignment with their own aliveness and authentic divine expression in this struggling world.

As I refuse to self-abandon and instead honor what my soul and body long to bring to Life, orgasmic creative energy flows through me more freely. I am living less for the approval and belonging and love of others and more FROM the Belonging, Love, and Safety of the Divine Presence within.

I am committed to living wholeheartedly. I am becoming more aware of my delusions, programming,  and protections that keep my heart closed and small. I am committed to flowing with and surrendering to Life instead of being in resistance to what is or what I’m experiencing or feeling in the moment.

I am here for LIFE. I am here to live in the center of my wholeness where there is nothing to fix, only Life to be engaged with and expressed. I am here to own my orgasm, to live my spiritual, sexual, and bodily autonomy, and to birth a few more beautiful creations into this world.

I have apprenticed this way of living for years. I have been in love with Love, chasing the Divine, searching for all things Beautiful, afraid of and then enthralled by the Shadows and the Dark, only to finally have found it all within. So cliche and yet it is my lived experience. What does it feel like to live knowing I am fully loved, not seeking love? To live like I belong, not seeking belonging? To live held in the arms of Love and Life and Mama Earth no matter what experience I am in the middle of?

It feels like everything.

Sometimes it is death and sorrow and tears and pain. Sometimes it is joy and bliss and laughter and ecstasy. Life is not only about Light. Life is found in the rhythms of descent into Darkness and ascent to the Heavens. Life IS the rhythm of the cycles of Life, Death, Rebirth.

I am apprenticing myself to Pleasure . . . finding pleasure in every moment whether light, dark, sorrow, joy, pain, bliss. There is pleasurable energy available in every moment now that I’m learning to drop underneath the protections and rejections of the moments or emotions or scenarios I don’t like. Life is playing with me, flirting with me. As I have learned to soften and surrender, releasing the delusion that I’m in control, I find the playfulness of Life/Love to be overwhelmingly stunning. Even in the tragedy.

This is me. This is my transmission. I see your light and hold you in your dark to bring the shadowy Unconscious to Light of Consciousness in order to transmute it into your wholeness and pleasure.

If you have tried a hundred things and still feel broken,

unable to find or live from wholeness,

unable to access intimacy with Self, Spirit, Body, Breath, Earth and Others,

unable to embrace what is and apprentice reality,

unable to hold yourself in each emotion, sensation, thought, experience,

still constantly pushing bad things away and grasping to hold the good things,

or constantly pushing good things away and drowning in the bad things,

you might consider working with me.

If you are stuck in the light and need to face what’s lurking in your shadow lands in order to

integrate them into your expression of your Whole Self,

if you are wallowing in the pit of darkness, addiction, self sabotage, abuse and can’t find the path to Light,

it might be worth your time and money to join me in my transformational container.

If you are a healer,

a practitioner,

a yogi,

a bodyworker,

a spiritual leader,

a thought leader,

an artist,

in a helping profession,

on an intentional healing journey,

dedicated to wholehearted living and Wholeness,

chasing Love, the Divine, and searching for all things Beautiful,

afraid of or enthralled with but not sure how to meet the shadows and the Dark within yourself,

Then working with me may give you what you need to enter into your next season of being.

If you are drawn to work with me and you are not even sure why, it might be worth following that gut instinct and contact me. All my greatest apprenticeships were entered into that way. Eric Moya, Esalen Massage, Dr. Aizenstat, Jennifer Selig, Layla Martin, Ernest Morrow. I simply knew I needed to work with them. Their energy contained a transmission my soul needed and it called to me. I didn’t research them. In every instance, I heard their name, immediately felt their energy, and felt my gut say, “they are your next teacher,” and I signed myself up, no matter what the cost. My soul’s liberation is priceless. My life began aligning dramatically while working with each teacher Life led me to. Every initiation has cost me a lot in time, money, energy, and tears. But I would not go back and redo one step of this journey. I am Living, not surviving.

Trust your gut and soul leading you to your next lessons and teachers and alchemical containers. As I said earlier, I am not for everyone. If you only want Life and do not want to enter into Death, I am not for you. This email is not to scare you away or sell you anything. It is to share greater portions of my wildish soul with you. If I am not for you, your next step is not far away. Watch the way Life opens doors as you commit to living in your Wholeness and Authentic Soul Expression. It becomes a thrilling dance with Life. The music is everywhere. Your next step will reveal itself.

I look forward to sharing more of these beautiful teachings and transmissions with you over time.

Love, Truth, and Beauty,


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