Here I am at 2:45 AM enjoying the birds that are singing in the dark. Flash back 3 years ago, laying in bed, staring at the ceiling, hating these same birds after my car accident. Tonight, instead of being afraid that I will hit another adrenal fatigue crash, I’ve decided to enjoy these songs in the night, write a post, and embrace this shifting season.
Sometimes I freak myself out when I’m not sleeping well. There’s a pretty good level of fear around sleeplessness for me. It takes me back to two different seasons of my life when I was deeply struggling with adrenal fatigue. One of the symptoms was not having a normal sleep schedule. I could fall asleep but then wake up a couple hours later and not get back to sleep. Sleep deprivation is my recipe for mental disaster.
The last couple months have been really busy. I don’t mind that so much. But on top of the busy, I’m doing some deep personal healing work and reprogramming of old ways of thinking and feeling. I’m shifting to new story lines and different kinds of energy. That creates a lot of shaking in every area of my life. Sleep included.
I choose to trust this journey in the present moment tonight. I choose to release the fear of my past experiences with sleeplessness and adrenal fatigue and remind myself that I’m a different person, in a different season, in an entirely different world than I was 10 years ago after Africa and 3 years ago after my car accident. I will let myself be in this moment with the singing birds and enjoy it.
Love to you all, whether you find yourself in the light or the dark.
emie